Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Life is so much better after having sex.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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