Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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