grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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