Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize