My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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