hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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