Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
