Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
