NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
