I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
