People with herpes should wear stickers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
