I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
