Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
