Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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