bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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