is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
