? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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