Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
