Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
