just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
