she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize