Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My life is pants optional.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
