i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
