Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
