i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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