my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
