Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
