I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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