I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
