You work out of a Hotel?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
