he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize