You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
