I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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