I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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