Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
