im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
its not stalking. its research.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
