I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We have started to decorate penises.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize