scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
