i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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