After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
