i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
