Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
