i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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