The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
