sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
