Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
