I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
