it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
