why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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