but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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