She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
