don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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