The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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