we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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