billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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