Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
