I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
