now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
