actually, I'm a sock model
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
