you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
