Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
