Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
