yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Houston, we have a blender
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
