I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize