i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
