One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
